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Parshas Vayetzei-פרשת ויצא

November 27, 2009 // Posted in Weekly Parsha Divrei Torah (Tags: ) |  No Comments

ויאמר להם יעקב, אחי מאין אתם (כט, ד)

And Yaakov said (to the shepherds) ‘my brothers…..where are you from?’

Yaakov Avinu had just arrived in Charan. He sees three shepherds sitting at the well and ‘hanging out’ (so to speak). They were ‘regular joes’. Yaakov right away gives them mussar telling them ‘the day is not over yet. Get up, give the sheep to drink and then continue working.’ He basically tells the shepherds how to do their job.

The question here is why did these shepherds listen to Yaakov? They were professional shepherds. Imagine someone walking to your office where you’ve been working for 30 years and he tells you….”No, that’s not how you do this…..THIS is how you do it. You would throw him out. Why didn’t these shepherds beat him up or ignore him? Why did they even answer him? Was Yaakov their shofet?  They’ve been doing this job forever!

The Ponoviz Rav answers being that Yaakov started off his mussar with the word ‘brother’ it showed he respected them.  It showed the shepherds that Yaakov isn’t doing this for his own kavod but he was looking out for their best interest. He began with warm words; he showed he was interested in them. Once they saw he was concerned about them, they were open to his suggestions.

The Rambam writes that every yid has an obligation to give another yid mussar. Does a person have to risk his life for it? The Rambam says that a person has to give mussar to another yid until he raises his fist to hit him.  Then he should walk away. That’s the shiur. However, Rav Yaakov Kamenetsky says there is no ‘shiur’ but if a person gives mussar to another and feels the other person wants to hit him, he is not doing the right job. (That is why he walks away.)

There’s a beautiful story that illustrates it’s all in the way you say it:

The Chofetz Chaim was traveling through town selling his seforim and as nightfall approached he found himself a Jewish inn where he would spend the night. He’s in the lobby when in walks a guy, who looked Jewish, and ordered food and drinks and sat down to eat.  The Chofetz Chaim observed this mans behavior and was distraught. He saw that he ate like a pig, he made no berachos, he was ill mannered, rough, barked orders to the waiters, spoke with nivul peh, and was a very vulgar human being. The innkeeper noticed that the Chofetz Chaim was making his way towards this  rude man to give him mussar and quickly ran up and whispered ‘don’t say anything to him…he’s one of the ‘kantunistim’.

What is a ‘kantunistim’? A kantunistim was someone who at a young age was taken from his parents home and given to a goyishe family to be raised. When the child turns 18 he is sent to the army for 25 years. In the army he’s given the toughest job, worked to the bone, most days were 22 hour days, and this was done to test their endurance. Their goal was to break them to forget they were Jewish. When they turned 43 years old they are released from the army. Many of these kantunustim don’t make it out alive and the ones that do were spiritually or emotionally dead. Most didn’t remember anything about yiddishkeit. All they knew was that their ‘Jewish’. They were sent back to their native town. But their parents had usually passed on and their siblings and neighbors didn’t even recognize them anymore.

When the Chofetz Chaim heard this he started making his way towards this young man. He sat down next to him and said I heard something very special about you. I heard that you were taken from your parents at a young age and that you were forced to assimilate with goyim and that you weren’t zoche to learn even one word of torah. I heard you went through terrible hardships and that you almost didn’t make it but you came out alive and you forced to eat treif and with all this you still came out a Jew? Wow….what a special place you must have in olam haba. Your place is next to the tzadikim and the gedolim in olam haba. The mesiras nefesh that you had throughout all these years is something that is greater than the mesiras nefesh that chananya, mishael and azarya showed.

Upon hearing these warm words from the Chofetz Chaim this man was overwhelmed with emotion and he burst into tears. The Chofetz Chaim continued and whispered: “imagine if a man of your stature with your schar in olam haba will start making brachos everyday….imagine the reward you will be getting if you start keeping Shabbos? Imagine the place they will reserve for you if you become a frum yid at your age? You would be the most special person in the world.” Because of the caring words of the Chofetz Chaim this man returned to yiddishkeit.

The transformation of this simple kantanist’s life was a result of the Chofetz Chaim’s version of ‘achai….meayin atem….’

(Search by: chumash; torah; parsha; parshas vayetzei; vayetzei; chofetz chaim; ponoviz rav; caring for another; giving mussar; how to give mussar; mesiras nefesh for yiddishkeit; rav yaakov kaminetsky; rambam; kantanustim)

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Parshas Toldos-פרשת תולדות

November 20, 2009 // Posted in Weekly Parsha Divrei Torah (Tags: ) |  No Comments

ויקח את מחלת בת ישמעאל בן אברהם אחות נביות (כח, ט)

Rashi on this pasuk explains that the reason the torah tells us who Esav married was to teach us that Yaakov was 63 years old at this time. (rashi goes through all the calculations as to how we get to this number). Rashi continues and says ‘we learn from here that Yaakov hid himself in the yeshiva of Shem V’ever for 14 years prior to him going to Lavan in Charan. Rashi brings a raya that he only stayed there for 14 years and left right before he had Yosef who we know was born on the road in Beis Lechem.

The Chofetz Chaim seems to be a bit bothered by this. Was this the right time for Yaakov to be learning torah? Yaakov knew that he had to have 12 Shevatim as the Pasuk says (29; 21) כי מלאו ימי…Yaakov was nervous he was getting too old to have children. He was 63 years old. Surely there was an inyun of zerizus here especially if his father told him to go to Charan and to get married! Why was he stalling for these 14 years? It doesn’t seem like the right time for him to be holding back from getting married?

The Chofetz Chaim answers and says there are three pillars that hold the world up. Torah, Avodah and Gemilas Chasadim. These three pillars correspond to the three Avos. Avraham, we know, was the pillar of chessed, Yitzchok was an Oleh temimah which corresponds to being the pillar of Avodah, and Yaakov was ‘yoshev ohalim; corresponding to none other than the pillar of torah. However, Esav claims to have the traits of the Avos too. Goyim have a mitzvah to give charity (the chofetz chaim explains, in parshas vayera, that one of the sins of Sedom was that they didn’t give tzedaka as it says [yechezkel 16: 49] ‘יד עני ואביון לא החזיקה’ ) and the gemarah (zevachim 116a) says if a goy owns an animal he can send it as a korban through a shaliach. But a goy only has these two traits. Torah, the third trait, is only with our mouths and goyim are completely removed from this like the gemarah says ‘a goy that’s learns torah is chayav misah’ because it says ‘torah tzivah lanu moshe morasha’. It was morasha to US and not to THEM. It is through this koach, the koach of torah that differentiates us from them. L’maaseh there are plenty of characteristic traits that we can share with other nations……except for torah. Through torah it shows that not only are we better than them but it is the torah that makes us victorious over them. Yaakov understood his years were passing but he also knew that the only way to protect himself from where he was going was to wrap himself completely in torah. He understood that a yid can be the best person in the world but without torah he’s no better than the next and can lower himself to anything. Only torah is what differentiates us and is what makes us victorious over the goyim.

This is also pshat in the Pasuk of ‘your voice is the voice of Yaakov but your hands are the hands of Esav’. At the times when your voice is the voice of Yaakov, and we’re learning torah, the ‘hands of Esav’ cannot overpower us. At the time when the voice of torah is strong it overpowers all the zechusim of Esav.

There’s a beautiful story that illustrates this point:

There was a Rav of a city that one day put up signs stating there was meis mitzvah in town and that the levaya for him would be in the town shul. Everyone was urged to attend. Everyone came out and saw the sign posted all over town and decided that if the Rav felt it important and that it’s a meis mitzvah they all have to go. And they all went.  The Rav starts the levaya with some tehillim and then walks up next to the casket, which was covered with a sheet, and starts to speak. He say this guy was such a baal chessed and he was a guy who never spoke loshon hora, never missed a minyan, never had shalom bayis issues, never raised his voice, never had a fight with anyone, never held a grudge on anyone and the Rav went on and on about the guy and how great he was and how he was mamesh ‘noseh b’ol chavero’. He said nobody really knew him but he was a very unique individual. The olam was in tears. People couldn’t believe they had such a person in their town and nobody knew of him. After such a glowing hesped from the Rav everyone was crying and they felt they really lost someone special. Everyone felt the loss and everyone was really moved by the Ravs hesped.

When the Rav was done he walked over to the casket and ripped off the sheet to reveal a dead horse! Upon seeing the dead horse the crowd gasped in shock! The Rav turns to the crowd and says everything I said about the guy is true. He was a baal chessed and he never spoke loshon hora, and he never missed a minyan, and never had shalom bayis issues, and never raised his voice, and never had a fight with anyone, and he never held a grudge on anyone…..but what’s he missing? Limud hatorah. It’s only through torah that we prove that we are better than anyone and everyone else.

(Search by: parsha; chumash; toldos; parshas toldos; chofetz chaim; torah; thre pillars of the world; avos; differentiating us from the world; learning torah; the most important trait)

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Parshas Chaya Sara-פרשת חיה שרה

November 12, 2009 // Posted in Weekly Parsha Divrei Torah (Tags: ) |  No Comments

Rashi in pasuk Bais asks, “Why is the parsha of the Akeida next to the parsha of Sarah’s death?” Rashi answers it is to tell us that when Sarah heard that Avraham was bringing their son as an offering and that he was going to slaughter Yitzchok - her soul departed from her body from the shock of such news.

The Velt asks the following question. We know that Sarah had perhaps greater prophetic skills than Avraham.  When Avraham was told to slaughter his son - not only did he not go into shock - he went so far as to hold the knife in his hand to fulfill the will of Hashem. Yet, Sarah, who was not even there, had no idea about such a request from Hashem and was only ‘told’ about it “afterwards,” goes into complete shock and dies from the news.  How is it possible that she wasn’t able to handle it? Avraham was able to deal with this, while Sarah wasn’t? What’s the hezber?

The K’sav Sofer offers a beautiful explanation:

Of course Sarah didn’t die from just hearing the news. Sarah understood what the ma’aseh of the Akeidah meant for all future generations. She understood that anyone in future generations   - even the simplest of Jews - who has the ability to be moser nefesh received their strength from the ma’aseh of the Akeida.  But, since she took absolutely no part in it, and at the same time, understood it so well, caused it be that her soul departed from her. It’s because she realized she wasn’t involved in the act!

In our times, when a Yid is moser nefesh - where is he getting this strength from? Where does a person get the ability to just completely give up his life for his religion? From the masiras nefesh that Avraham showed by the ma’aseh Akeida . It was then that he instituted into every single one of our neshomas this midah of mesiras nefesh. And since Sarah was not involved in such a historical moment - an act that would instill such gevurah into all future generations - her soul immediately left her body.

When a person starts an organization or forms a program, whether it’s for kids at risk or a tzedakah function of some sort, the correct response from a Yid should not be, “what is it about?” but rather one should proclaim, “HOW can I get involved?”

There is an amazing story that brings out this point. In the 1950’s, a group of American ba’al habatim came to Reb Aharon Kotler ZT“L and asked for his haskama on the commencement of a new program.  They wanted to implement the Amud Yomi as they felt that a daf a day was way beyond the capacity of American Jews. However, Reb Aharon’s firm rejection was accompanied with the following explanation.

Reb Aharon was privileged to be at the Kinesia Gedolah in Vienna where Reb Meir Shapiro ZT“L proposed the Daf Yomi program that would serve as the daily torah obligation to many Jews across the globe. Reb Aharon had the zechus of standing next to the Chofetz Chaim at that time and as Reb Meir finished his proposal he heard the Chofetz Chaim mumble, “Yisroel Meir, where have you been all this time?”

Here you have a man that has written seforim on Loshon Hora, Kodshim (for the kohanim to know what to do when Moshiach comes), seforim for the Russians who were in the army, etc…. a man who was close to 90 years old, who had devoted ALL his time, energy and work for klal yisroel, that asked himself “Yisroel Meir, where were you all these years?”  That’s how a Yid thinks.

“How can I get involved?”

(Search by: chumash; parsha; parshas chaya sara; torah; mesiras nefesh; akeida; reb meir Shapiro; daf yomi; reb aharon kotler; chofetz chaim; k’sav sofer; being involved; being a part of history; saras death; getting the strength to be moser nefesh)

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Parshas vayera-פרשת וירא

November 6, 2009 // Posted in Weekly Parsha Divrei Torah (Tags: ) |  No Comments

When the Malachim came to Avraham and he served them meat the pasuk says ‘V’el habakar ratz Avraham- which means ‘And to the cattle Avraham ran.’ We see that Avraham went himself and delivered the meat. However, when Avraham wanted to bring the guests water he tells Yishmael to bring it as the pasuk says ‘yukach nah m’at mayim’. We see here that Avraham had it brought through a shaliach. The gemarah (bava metzia 86b) says on this that whatever Avraham did himself Hashem did for bnei Yisroel generations later himself. Just as Avraham brought meat to the guests himself so too midah k’neged midah Hashem gave us the Maan in the midbar himself and not through a shaliach. But, what Avraham had brought through a shaliach Hashem did the same generations later. Just as Avraham had the water brought through a shaliach, Yishmael, so too the water that Hashem provided for us generations later came through a shaliach; through Moshe and the rock.

The gemarah implies that there was a tayna on Avraham. Why did Avraham send someone else for the water and not go get it himself? Why did he ask Yishmael?

There are two Ha’aros on this gemarah:

One Ha’arah is that Rashi (bava metzia 18b) says the reason why Avraham asked the water to be brought through a shaliach, Yishmael, was to be mechanech him how to act when guests come. If this is so, how can the gemarah have a tayna on Avraham? L’maaseh he did it for chinuch?

So the Kotzker Rebbe answers an important yesod and says that the greatest form of chinuch is for a child to see his father doing it himself. Had Avraham done it himself Yishmael would have observed him doing it himself and that would’ve been the greatest form of chinuch a person can possibly give over to his child. You want your child to learn from you? Let him see YOU doing it. Parents want their children to learn….but do they see their parents learning at home? If a parent wants to teach their children something they should start by doing it themselves and allowing their child to watch them do it. That, says the Kotzker, is the greatest form of chinuch.

A second Ha’arah is…..who was the pillar of chessed? Avraham was…and how many acts of chessed did Avraham do? In the thousands…so why was it this specific act, this incident of the malachim that Avraham was being judged on where Hashem says ‘I will do to your children just as you did for these malachim.  That which you did on your own I shall do on my own and that which you did through a shaliach I shall provide for your children through a shaliach too.’ Why is Avraham being judged on this specific incident?

Reb Aaron Leib Shteinman, Shlit”a offers an explanation and says at the time the malachim came  Avraham was a choleh, it was his third day since his bris milah; the most painful day of his procedure and he had all the excuses in the book as to why he can’t have guests right now and why he’s not ‘up to’ doing chessed, yet….he did and THIS defined exactly who Avraham was. A man who was a choleh going out of his way to invite and feed guests….this was Avrahams true colors and that’s why Hashem chose to judge him at this point. Because it was the ultimate act of chessed. Nonetheless Hashem is still medagdaik k’chut hasaroh on the actual performance of the mitzvah.

May we all be zoche to adapt this midah of chessed from Avraham Avinu and to also really be mechanech our children in the greatest form.

(Search by: chumash; parsha; parshas vayera; vayera; kotzker rebbe; re baron leib shteinman; chessed; bava metzia; hachnasas orchin; chinuch; being mechanech a child; feeding guests; avraham welcoming guests; doing chessed yourself; doing chessed at a difficult time; the greatest form of chinuch; being judged on your actions)

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